90ways - Criticism

From the British slang for buttocks and the Western compulsion to tack a "ster" onto a word to finish it.

Bumsters are low-cut pants, essentially hip-huggers. The term "hip-hugger" went out of vogue recently due to the fact that "hug" implies emotional involvement (too needy, even for denim) and hips are no longer considered a good thing. Also, the word "bumster" indicates a focus different from the earlier hip-huggers: the buttocks, or, specifically, the top of the butt crack called the butt-cleavage.

As Desmond Morris stated, breast cleavage is simply a false buttocks, up higher than the real buttocks so that one doesn't get confused and put one's pants over one's head. With the bumsters new focus on butt-cleavage within the society of the naked ape, push-up brassieres will have to compete aggressively to bring attention back to the chest. However, the term "push-up" implies physical effort, which might be at odds with the slacker generation. A new term must be found for that which lifts, separates, and otherwise deforms a woman's bosom.

Might I suggest "mamster"?

An extension of the newly-minted root term "blog" (itself a contraction of the "weblog") which describes, in the broadest sense, the world ('sphere') of those who blog (the "bloggers"), i.e. those who post their personalised reportings/musings/opinions on small slices of private space on the World Wide Web and hope others will read.

It is just as well that this term was coined, to address a real need to describe the voluminous activity being indulged in by those who blog, the bloggers, and the virtual space they inhabit. Of course, it tries to convey the idea of a separate and distinct zone, nay, even a world that is the domain of the bloggers. Also implied are suggestions of a distinct etiquette and form governing this particular sphere. But, very importantly it conveys a sense that this is a space of some importance, with its own airwaves and hubbub, its own angst and free-minded thinking -- a whole new universe with its own lifeforms with their own diverse activities.

Of particular note would be that this term recognizes this republic of independent thinkers who hitherto might not have access to traditional media, which are controlled by large conglomerates, with which to proliferate their opinions and thoughts. But, as denizens of the blogosphere, they are able to find a channel of expression which is not considered frivolous and even, increasingly, is being taken seriously.

A hijacked suffix denoting the primary importance or core nature of the word preceding it. Descended from the American compulsion to define the world as they define themselves: "All about me."

Like human knowledge in general and the greenhouse effect in particular, the English language is changing at an ever-accelerating rate that guarantees, at the very least, an unrecognizable landscape (in this case, wordscape) just a few generations hence. Nanotechnology is upon us, the glaciers are melting, the sky is falling, and we have developed the ability to construct entire species of words from mere suffixes. -Centric is the most egregious example. No longer reserved for the red-hatted ladies clutching afternoon stemware, -centric has moved beyond our beloved ec-centric to include such overstuffed new-biz terms as consumer-centric, business-centric, linear-centric (a geometric impossibility), culture-centric, the dreary list is endless. And, in all cases, these -centricities have supplanted perfectly descriptive adjectives that are entitled to journeyman status. Fact is, the use of -centric is designed to provide the writer or speaker with a cloak of mystery and newfound perspective. I immediately think, "I'd best determine if this word comes complete with definition and work it into the next available PowerPoint presentation."

The etymological future of -centric is uncertain. Its natural path would be a transition from suffix to commonly recognized adjective, but first it's got to go through the evolutionary process of losing its tail -- also a natural path, which took homo sapiens several thousands of years.

From the Kentish verb To Chav meaning to steal or appropriate, now used as noun referring to "poor white trash" living in counties of southern England.

Aged between 14 and 18, Chavs all seem to dress the same, as if in a tribal way, to be both a group together and to isolate themselves from the other people around them. Chavs share a taste for Burberry baseball caps, shiny tracksuits and expensive sneakers, worn with a white wife-beater vest under puffy, hooded jackets. In summer shirts are discarded as skinny white boys with crew-cuts waddle aggressively through shopping malls and precincts across the land, showing their undernourished torsos to young members of their clan, at the same time offending old ladies with their bare teenage physiques. Beer cans are gripped in hands as cigarettes nestle between their fingers. They hawk and spit on the ground. When a group of Chavs is stationary for a time, be it in a bus station or by a fast-food restaurant, their lumps of spit accumulate to form a nauseating mine-field.

Occasionally swear words gush forth, often directed at people trying to get past the Chavs or at bus drivers/mothers with buggies/people on their way to work; all of whom conflict with the Chavs' nihilistic and directionless hanging about in public places. Chavs stay on foot, prowling and occupying public areas, until they are old enough to qualify for a moped or car license.

The way of the Chav is a growing lifestyle trend, and they are increasing in number. The make-up of British society and its people is changing, and the Middle Classes are outraged at the erosion of the "traditional values" of work, family and respect. Chavs will one day be the new majority in British Society. At the moment, "Chav" is a term of vindictive derision. Yet, the balance of society is tipping and the Chav may become the norm in British towns and cities. Already, Chav fashion is entering the mainstream. Hip journalists and pop stars are claiming affiliations to this perceived underclass. In time, they will flourish, and the term Chav will no longer be a negative one, but a name of pride and acceptance.