How many times have you wondered about the sort of death you want to have? Do you want it to be a "worthwhile" death? A death after a good, long life? Or, instead, do you worry you're going to die for no good reason? Imagine, for example the parents of a kid that gets blown up by an I.E.D. in Iraq, and in their grief they despair over a "wasted" life -- wasted because the good kid didn't die for a good reason. Consider that "senseless" drunk driving death -- you know, the one where the drunk driver lives, and the young-bride-with-a-new-baby-on-the-way-and-recent-promotion-at-work in the other car dies. What about the "unbelievable" death of the guy-who-just-had-a-check-up-the-day-before-he-dropped-dead-of-a-heart-attack? And let's not forget the child who died of leukemia at age six, making all of us wonder just what sort of "God" this God-guy really is. The question burns inside each and every one of our precariously beating hearts: Will I die for no good reason, too? Well, at Just 'Cause, we've got the answer!

Hi, I'm Joe Santos, President and CEO. Here's the answer -- free -- me to you: No. You won't die for no good reason. Why? Because there is no good reason. You just die, just 'cause. Though there are countless ways a person can die -- the proximate and remote causes seem practically endless -- the one thing we can count on is that death's gonna happen to each and every one of us. And when it does, it's a pretty good bet we're not going to much care how it happened after the fact. It's a relief to know this, really, it's a load off. The guy who keels over from a massive coronary on the toilet might not have imagined this would be the way he'd croak, but you know what? He's probably not going to have the chance to worry about that too much. That's gonna be a job for Francine and the kids. And should they really spend their time agonizing over it, anyway?

You see, we here at Just 'Cause are committed to helping each and every one of you stop worrying about whether or not the reason you die is a good one. The idea we've hit upon is simple. It's called Death Equity. With few exceptions, not one of us will have the chance to choose when to die or, more importantly to some, how we die. Nevertheless, we all live under the delusion that some deaths are arbitrary, ignoble, or unreasonable -- as if the rest of them somehow transcend such indignities. Death Equity changes all that. No reason for dying is more or less good than any other. The reason someone dies is that their life ends. 'Nuff said. Suicide bomber? Doh! Agonizing bone cancer? So sorry! Accidental victim of a drive-by shooting? Too bad! Take away the "good" reasons for dying, and the whole death thing starts to lose its luster, don't it?

Now, we here at Just 'Cause know we've got a lot of minds to change, and it's not gonna be easy. But that's the beauty of Death Equity by Just 'Cause. We sift out purpose from mechanism so you don't have to.

Not convinced yet? I wasn't either, at first. But then I started to think about it. I started to think about the poor schmuck who's just trying to get through the day, you know what I mean? And this poor putz, not hurting nobody, walks in on a bank robbery. One of the robbers get jittery, and POP! Right between the eyes. No family left, no close friends. Not even a designated mourner to say, "Heck, what was all that about?" Then there's all those deaths nobody even knows about, those mass murders that are covered up by corrupt governments in far away lands? I mean, heck. If someone dies in a forest, and no one is there to witness it, is the death for a good reason or a bad one? You tell me.

So, Just 'Cause offers, for a low, low fee, Death Equity. Why not get in on the ground floor! Just 'Cause, your death equity specialists. Like our motto says, Live! Suffer! Die!

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