Today I spoke with the second agent in charge of line formation and boarding pass re-checking (SACLFBPR-C) at Logan International Airport, Boston, Massachusetts. SACLFBPR-C works for the Transportation Security Administration, that is the federal government. He is a public servant, and as such gladly answered my questions while I waited in Line 3 to have my boarding pass re-checked. Later on I removed my computer completely from its blue neoprene case and placed it, mistakenly, in the grey bin that is for outerwear only, not for parcels of any kind. That detail really gets ahead of the point though, and besides it involves an entirely different agent who may or may not have a penchant for quick-service restaurant metaphors.

While I waited to have my boarding pass re-checked by SACLFBPR-C I asked, "Excuse me sir, could you tell me why the first class passengers wait in a separate line?" Unlike most airplane travelers, the first class ticket holders do not wait in line 1, line 2, or line 3 to have their boarding pass checked, re-checked and then to place their computers and outerwear in the appropriately marked grey bins. Instead, they wait in a different line, marked by a black plastic rectangle with white letters reading First Class Passengers. I was concerned that the first class ticket holders might have felt isolated. After all, they were about to spend several hours separated from most other passengers by a synthetic curtain, and it struck me unfair that they should be prematurely cordoned off.

SACLFBPR-C set my mind at ease by ensuring me that that the first class ticket holders did not feel isolated or excluded. Quite the contrary, they were welcome in Line 1, Line 2 and Line 3, but chose to separate themselves into the First Class Passenger line. It was shorter than the other three lines, and the first class ticket holders preferred an expeditious check, re-check and outerwear and parcel examination to the company of a curious young man, crying babies and various other annoying waiters in the lines numbered one, two and three.

Convinced by the sound logic of the agent's explanation I asked if I might join First Class Passengers line instead of Line 3, but SACLFBPR-C refused my petition. He pointed out that I didn't hold a first class ticket, and requested that I move along as Line 3 had slid forward several people spaces by then. I stepped around the curve in the nylon belt and found myself on the other side of SACLFBPR-C in an excellent position to continue our conversation. I asked him if it didn't seem unfair that the first class ticket holders could choose among all four lines, while other passengers were limited to the numbered lines and excluded from the shorter First Class Passengers line.

The agent's quick and decisive response made clear that he had considered this question before. He rejoined that it was quite fair because the first class ticket holders had paid more money. I said that I didn't understand, and SACLFBPR-C thoughtfully used a metaphor to explain the system. At Dunkin' Donuts when you pay $3 you are entitled to a large coffee with all manner of flavor or super dairy additions. If you pay $2 you get just the basics, regular coffee. Sugar and cream? Included. Blueberry or coconut infusion? Extra. The lines for checking and re-checking worked the same. People who paid more got better choices. This metaphor cleared things up considerably. As I moved forward to the next stage in Line 3 I realized the beauty of SACLFBPR-C's metaphor. Homeland Security is just like Dunkin' Donuts.

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