Criticism. Essay. Fiction. Science. Weather.
Joshua W. Jackson and Sergio Sandino
Oh, dear, it saddens me to see you so miserable. Well, my darling, it's not exactly anything you've said, but rather the look on your face. Or, not so much the look as all of the blemishes. One can only hope it's just your age -- you're in the middle of an acne-prone stage, I'm afraid. But, oh, sugarbear, how terrible it would be if it stayed with you for the rest of your life! Oh, I'm so lucky to have such nice skin. Did I ever tell you, light of my life, how I never once had even one zit? (Ugh! Such an ugly word!) Not even when I was your age, fifteen.

I know, sugarbear, that it's tough to admit to someone you're uncomfortable with the way you look, especially to your peers, so I won't ask you to do that, but please know that talking about these things can help. Perhaps I could make you a batch of cookies or brownies and we could just let it all out? You mustn't rule out your mother as a powerful ally and confidante, my little elf, in coping with body issues. We'll never know how I would have turned out had I not asked
my mother if I looked fat in a Sunday dress when I was sixteen. I was about five-five and weighed nearly a hundred and twenty pounds! Can you imagine? Your mother at that weight? And still four inches shorter than I am today? Hm? No!!! You do not weigh more than that! Well. It's much more popular today to be a little bit chunky than it was then. And you certainly don't look it. Maybe from behind a little bit. But that's very popular nowadays, too.
Anyway, your sweet grandmother was wonderful and kind enough to tell me that, yes, I did look fat and that it was because I was indeed fat. I was very lucky to have such an honest and loving mother, because everyday since I've known to pay more attention to my appearance and make sure I do something to make myself beautiful. I'm glad I asked that question of her, dear. Is there anything
you'd like to ask
me?
Oh, my beloved little troll, don't look at me like that! If only you knew how unbecoming it is, especially with those mammoth eyebrows of yours. Hm? Beautiful on the inside? Well, yes, I suppose I do think you're somewhat beautiful on the inside, and I suppose that does count for something. Now, is there anything else you'd like to ask me?