Honey, I hate to ask at a party and I know that at the Tidwell's barbecue we said it would be the last time, but would you mind just taking a look at this for me? It seems a rather odd lump. No, it's nowhere inappropriate. It's just on my back. No, I don't think they'd mind since it's regarding a pressing medical concern. John, would you mind if I lifted my shirt? It's regarding a pressing medical concern. Honey, he's joking. Of course he wouldn't mind.

It's a small cluster of tissue about three inches below my shoulder blade, baby. It's really hard. It feels solid. I haven't been able to see a mark on the epidermis, but it's a tough spot to get a look at, even using the mirror. I've been experiencing some tenderness and soreness in the muscles in that area for about three days now, I think, but I haven't noticed the lump until today, right before we came here when I was putting on my dress shirt. It's about three quarters of an inch in diameter and – No, it's nothing like that! That was ringworm. I don't care how quickly it went away. It was ringworm. I know that you're the doctor here. That's why I keep asking for your help, although, quite frankly, I wonder why I persist with the responses I get. It's as though you want my medical needs to go unattended. I swear, woman, sometimes I think you've forgotten your Hippocratic Oath altogether. Yes, I do really think that. Sometimes, anyway. Don't say that! It's just what I'm accusing you of doing and then you go and do it! Of course my medical concerns are legitimate. Well, if that were true, then the interesting question would be why you, a doctor, elected to marry me, who you call a hypochondriac. Now which one of us has the greater "complex," as you call it?

Yes, I will simply shut up if you take a look at it. After that, if you tell me there's no problem, we can spend the rest of the evening discussing a topic or topics of your choosing. Okay, here it is. That's right, just below the left shoulder blade. You see it? Ha! So there is a mark! Feel it? Isn't it hard? Well, I'm glad you can concede that I'm not imagining things. That's very big of you. What is it, then, deary, a run-of-the-mill bug bite, probably, eh? Huh. A small knot, perhaps? What, then? What do you mean any number of things? Like what? Any number of things. What kind of doctor are you? What sort of things? Don't just look at me like that, say something. Darling? Darling? ... Honey?

In the latest CoffeeCast, Gloria sees the future in some loose leaves, Simon feels betrayed by Keri Russell, and Timothy English weighs himself in stones. Plus: games, trivia, and caffeinated gadgets from IBM.

You can stream CoffeeCast below or right-click the bean logo to download the show as an mp3. Further, you can click here to subscribe to this podcast with iTunes. (Be warned, iTunes will launch if you click.) Or, if you've already got iTunes open, pull down the "Advanced" menu and select "Subscribe to Podcast...". When prompted, paste in this url: http://90ways.com/coffeecast.xml. The show is fresh every Thursday by subscription but you can get it Wednesdays here at 90ways.


About CoffeeCast - Skimmed from the very cream of Starbucks culture, CoffeeCast features two baristas who are bizarrely smitten with being baristas. Gloria and Simon are based out of a New York City Starbucks and they have real enthusiasm for their work. This weekly podcast gives them a chance to share the things they love: coffee and aggressive, stylized marketing. It's funny. It's also kind of scary.

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