Good afternoon.

Many of you have asked me, repeatedly and at times inappropriate, whether I had any plans to endorse one of the candidates vying for the available senatorial seat. I have told you no every time. I have told you no because as governor of this great state, and as a candidate myself, years ago, staying mum on anything of political significance has been my pleasure and my privilege. But today I am going back on those four months of nos. Today, it feels so good, so tasty, to say yes. Do not take me for a backpedaling politician, but rather behold a newly impassioned member of the electorate.

Frankly, until now, I have steered clear of this campaign because I was turned off by the petty lack of regard for our children being the future. But this sandwich, whose candidacy, make no mistake, I am endorsing today, and for the rest of my life, this sandwich is a candidate committed not only to our children but also kittens, summer rains, and Santa.

Now there have been those of you who have wanted to cover this campaign as a horse race or a sideshow. There have been those of you who have given more coverage to a candidate's hair or what type of a sandwich this sandwich might be than health care or how much the different candidates support our troops. But above the dim roar of you media types, one candidate has not been swayed by the ballyhoo. One candidate has consistently discussed policy while looking to bridge generations and gaps and centuries. One candidate is chock full of mayonnaisey goodness. And that candidate is the sandwich!

We cannot let bitterness and acrimony tear us apart in our desire to win back this country, and that's more true now than ever. The sandwich has not stooped to the level of his opponents, slinging mud, calling names, pointing fingers. Instead he has always persevered in the very face of perseverance. He has outlined policy after policy with aplomb and derring-do. He has called for universal health care for all, including everybody. He has demanded college loan tax breaks, which are currently being taxed without breaks. He has relentlessly and peerlessly peered and relented. And for all of that, and yes, for being a sandwich in a political environment dominated by white men of privilege, for all that, I salute the sandwich. The sandwich, I am proud to be on this stage with you today and I will be proud to have you as my senator. You are great and terrific and fun to be with.

I am not a deaf man. I have heard the criticisms leveled at the sandwich. I have watched the debates in which he has been alternately spurned and witheringly attacked. And because he is too good and too mute to answer these charges, because he prefers to embrace pastrami instead of hollow rhetoric, because he cares most about those challenges facing regular Americans, I want to take a moment for rebuttal.

Firstly, there are those who argue the sandwich is getting into this race too late. To them I say it is never too late for our seniors to be a community of values. Just ask Tom Delaney, a senior I met the other day who has been choosing medication bills over grocery bills for so long he told me he wanted to eat the sandwich. Imagine that, if you can. Being so desperate you wanted to eat a senatorial candidate. That's the state our current administration has brought this country to and no, it is never too late to fight back against that injustice.

Secondly, there is the allegation that the sandwich is too angry, too impassioned, to win in November. This charge is as ludicrous as it is fabricated. I've never seen the sandwich get mad, or display human emotion of any kind. If that's not electable, I don't know what is.

Finally, the sandwich has his detractors who say this country is not ready to have a sandwich on Capitol Hill. Rubbish and poppycock. Now is exactly when we need a new perspective in Congress. I am tired of the old perspective which has refused, again and again, to be new. It's time to put someone in Washington who has a track record of bringing meat and vegetables together, not rending them apart. It's time to elect a senator who knows the price of a loaf of bread!

Ladies and Gentlemen, as well documented by yourselves, I stand before you today a man who will soon retire from politics. I have nothing to gain here except for rampant political influence in Congress at the exact moment that I move into the lucrative private sector. I am as disinterested an endorser as you're likely to find out here on the hustings. So when I say the great thing I am about to say, when I look you and all of America in the eyes and drop this gem, you can damn well know I mean it! When this state goes to the ballot boxes in November, I will vote early, I will vote often, and I will vote sandwich! And I will do it with a light heart, a heart buoyed by hope for the future, a heart alive with the possibility of real change. A heart that beats for the sandwich!

Thank you, I love you. God bless.

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