90ways - Fiction

From: The Project for the New Korowai Century (PNKC)
To: Chief Alotau
Re: The Future of the Korowai People

Honourable and Most-Feared Chief Alou,

The Korowai People of Papua New Guinea have always been proud to maintain century old traditions despite accusations of "primitivism" and "Stone Age Values". In fact, their everyday practice of witchcraft and tree house dwelling first drew criticism from the White Ghost Men upon their arrival two generations past. But recent findings in the Korowai Policy Index reveal a new trend in Korowai thinking, a trend that many Korowai Chieftains hope will make the Korowai people a major power player in the Papua tribal communities.

Though individual leaders may cling to the Korowai traditions like a wild pig to a tree kangaroo, the average Korowai do not approve of the so-called "social norms"; specifically in regards to marriage, housing, justice, external presentation. The following report will examine findings from the 2006 Korowai Policy Index with the hopes of proving not only an overwhelming demand, but a need for more forward, multilateral thinking and practice among the Korowai Tribe.

Tree dwelling, a means of shelter and habitation for centuries, has met with some resistance in the recent years. The Korowai list accessibility to these domiciles as central to their complaint, many noting the potentially dangerous route to and from the front door. "If you wake up in the middle of the night and want a snack, you have to climb down a 15 foot Cinchona tree trunk. Sure, vines help. But if you're already groggy, a craving for a nip of sago milk could cost you your life." Though we appreciate the increased security measures (a gate around the community, lock and key mailboxes), tribe members feel that a more grounded approach to housing is long overdue for the Korowai people.

Many Korowai are concerned with the superficial. Despite being a tradition based in the myth of the God Sepiktonta, a staggering 93% of the Korowai do not approve of the traditional monkeybone lodged in their lower lip. It seems that while commonplace tasks such as eating, lovemaking and talking are obviously hindered, it is actually the inability to whistle that is presented as the most irksome of the monkeybone's prohibitions. "While hunting for tree kangaroo, we would love to trill 'Ta-Ra-Ra Boom De-Ay' to and from the forest, but with the monkeybone... you try it, buddy," stated one Korowai male. On the opposing side, the Korowai female appreciate that they can walk past the construction site of a new maternity hut without having to worry about being catcalled.

Also, Korowai shaman Duon, hopes that the removal of the monkeybone will allow him to have a more non-Korowai clientele. "If I can name one deterrent for outsiders patronizing my medicine hut and buying my cures, I would have to say it's the monkeybone," Duon laments. "Other shamans tell me that outsiders don't have a problem with pervasive nudity or body odor; so you tell me the only other difference!"

Removal of the monkeybone is hoped to attract 100% more tourists to our native region. And plans are already underway to make the Korowai village a top New Guinea resort within the next decade.

News of increased tourism has brought about debate over the Korowai's notable lack of clothing. Recent studies show that the lifelong nudity of our tribe can only increase outside interest (photos of Korowai women published in Indigenous Skin Magazine gave the tribe a much needed PR boost in 2003). A number of households, however, are demanding some middle ground. "We're not asking for anything as drastic as the Wawakib Tribe, feathers and skirts and whatnot... we'd simply like a light windbreaker or at least some short shorts. Winter nights can be a bit brisk."

Tribe members also point out the increase in productivity to be gained from shrouding. An independent study shows that the average Korowai hunter spends 93 minutes every day tiptoeing through a patch of forest nettles, while females complain about interference from certain body parts during their daily manual labor. "I could grind twice as much sago paste every day if my girls weren't always flapping around the pestle."

Another point of contention, your highness, is the act of cannibalism. While many Korowai believe that practicing Black Magic should be chastised, the devouring of fellow tribesmen is not the preferred form of punishment. 73% of the Korowai find the act of eating friends and colleagues to be revolting and barbaric, if not incredibly awkward. There are some dissidents, however, who believe in retaining this gastrological form of justice. "Cannibalism is not only a tradition of the tribe but it has familial relevance for me," states female tribe member, Paballo Madi. "Both my mother and father were eaten by their children. They were delicious; and I hope that one day the same can be said for me."

While appearance and justice make up the majority of Korowai concern, the tribe feels that traditional marriage practices do not fit their personal preference. This statement is derived from the staggering 90% percent of males who do not wish to marry within the tribe. One Korowai deserter, Kutube refused to comply with tribal marriage laws. On the phone from his Port Moresby condominium, Kutube (known as "Ron" to the locals) feels that he made the correct decision. "I can't tell you how great it is to meet a woman on the beach and not have to worry about whether or not she is your mother's mother's brother's daughter. For me, the dating pool has become an ocean. And I'm a cruise ship."

So you see, your honor, as presented by the Project for a New Korowai Century, we hope that within the next decade many if not all of the aforementioned practices can be altered to meet the opinion of the greater tribe. In order to function as a cohesive unit, we feel that we need some change and need to feel that we are functional part of modern world. Hopefully, you, as an all-knowing leader of the Zalatu bloodline, can understand the significance of these requests. If not, we'd at least like to have a t.v. and VCR so that we can watch the tape of ourselves on the Discovery Channel that "Ron" sent last month.

Hoping that he will not be slaughtered for his insolence,

Motu Mendi
Senior Member
PNKC